Sow the seeds and scatter

All I feel is indifference.
I dread the knock of the door.
When you're here I want you gone,
and I'm relieved when you go.
But when you moan,
and ask for more,
take my hand, that's what it's for.
I sit in the stillness of my solitude,
bored with nothing but my existence,
the quiet moments tick slowly by,
as bedtime closes on another lovely day.
I knew a man who took his life,
but many more who took a wife,
and grew apart from the one they loved,
who doesn't in time forget.
I knew a man who took his life,
and that was deemed a waste,
but is that any more spoil,
than those that wed with haste?